Two years after Michaela was born, we found ourselves doing something no parent expects — designing our daughter’s gravestone. In the middle of an ordinary van ride filled with Baby Shark and childhood dreams, grief showed up again in the most unexpected place.

Waiting has a way of activating the nervous system before the day even begins. This is a reflection on rumination, motherhood, growth, and learning to stop trying to mentally rewrite what has already happened. Sometimes clarity isn’t something we think our way into — it’s something we surrender into.

Some days ask us to hold more than one truth at a time — loss and love, sadness and gratitude, memory and movement. I’m learning that our hearts are big enough for all of it.

Returning didn’t require rushing. It required honesty, patience, and the wisdom to wait until my body could say yes.

The only thing out of stock was a bag of toffee bits.
And somehow, that was the thing my brain decided mattered most.